Archive for the 'let’s talk about …' Category

In which I get probed in a bar in front of many strangers

My friend Amiroquai met me at a bar one night this past week. We had a seat and ordered some drinks, a vodka tonic for me, a beer for him. We exchanged a bit of small talk and then…

“Are you sure you want to do it here?” he asked, glancing discretely from side to side, as if to point out the other patrons in the bar that I might not have noticed.

“Since when have I ever been modest?”

“True. But here? Right now?”

“Sure! Let’s do this.”

In plain view, he pulled out his instrument, covered the end of it with a little thingamajiggy (for his protection or mine?), and stuck it inside of me. For what seemed like an eternity, he probed around.

I waited patiently for his opinion…we’d done this once before but it was under very different circumstances. Was it different this time? Better? Or Worse? Hmm, judging by his silence, most definitely worse. My patience didn’t last long…

“Well?? Did you find the hole?”

“I sure did. It’s tiny though.”

“Presumably that’s a good thing?”

“Yep. Your tympanic membrane should heal up just fine. Just give it a several weeks before you go diving again,” he said as he took his otoscope out of my ear and removed the speculum cap from the tip.

“Thanks Doc!”

It’s good to have lots of friends in the medical profession…though I very much doubt I’ll ever invite any of my Ob/Gyn friends to examine me in a bar. (Unless, of course, there’s tequila involved and then there’s NO TELLING what could happen!)

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The madness featured here is mine and mine alone. It does not, in any way, reflect the madness of my employers, colleagues, patients, nutty family, or my colorful friends. The privacy of my employers, colleagues, patients, nutty family and colorful friends is sacred & deeply respected, so no names. All words Copyright © la cubana gringa, no method, just madness 2006-2010. All comments © their authors. Don't steal; it's not nice. (And my Grandfather knows people.)

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